Thursday, November 5, 2015

Hey Everyone,

I hope you read and enjoyed my last post. I'm posting a new story today. This one was from a short story writing group I was in a few years ago. We were assigned to write a short story and the topic was: "the fish saves the day". As usual in such short story activities, I like doing something a little different or unexpected with the prompts so I wrote this one. I hope everyone likes it. Feel free to leave some feedback at the bottom!

James

"The Fish"
            I want to tell you a story about a fish. Before I start, I can’t resist the temptation to rant. You humans whine more than any other creature. I swear, everywhere I buzz, I always hear “I don’t have enough time”, “no one likes me”, and other non-sense. If you want to whine try being a fly on the wall, like me.

            “I don’t have enough time”? Yeah, try having a lifespan of a month. “No one likes me”? Try having ninety percent of the creatures in the world consider you either a food group or trying to kill you.

            Don’t get me wrong, I like people. I know that sounds silly considering how determined you are to wipe us from the face of the planet, but it’s true.

            Think about it, I could be one of two places. I could be outside where every spider, bird, insect, reptile and even some plants are drooling at the thought of making me their next meal. Or I could be inside a house, where your insecticides, which are harmless to me, and your other barriers protect me from most of my natural predators. Plus, if I am lucky, I can find a house with open garbage bags, random food, and even houseplants to keep me satisfied.

            Anyway, where was I? I wazzzzzzzz….oh, yeah, the fish.

            So, I am flying around the supermarket, where I was born, savoring the tasty fruits. I can honestly say I'm not a malnourished fly and notably larger than most of my other comrades zooming around the store. As I make my way to a particularly tasty looking orange, I catch the irresistible scent of a dead fish. I love fish.

            I forget about the orange, which is not hard to do. I really think all flies suffer from some form of ADHD. We just can’t keep our minds on the same topic for very long. One moment we are at a juicy fruit, the next second, we see a sandwich over there just calling our name. Oh, a glass of milk. Wow, what a neat shirt that guy is wearing, I think I will land on it. Look at that, a fly swatter. And so on.

            Anyway, where was I? I wazzzzzzzz…oh yeah, the fish.

            So, I smell this really awesome dead fish and head straight for it. I find the fish wrapped in some sort of white paper and sitting at the top of a plastic grocery sac. Zooming through the air, I settle happily onto the aromatic treat and rub my hands together in preparation for the upcoming feast.


            The woman carrying the bag is oblivious to my presence. The darkness of the mostly empty unlit parking lot makes it difficult for her to see me. Plus she seems preoccupied talking on her cell phone. I doubt she would notice a swarm of gnats buzzing in her face. She sounds like she is having a rather excitable debate with someone regarding a recent political event.

            Speaking of which, I have to express my opinion that you humans are the most close minded group of creatures imaginable. Maybe that is why you surround yourself with people who have the same opinions concerning everything happening in the world. They say birds of a feather flock together and you guys certainly do but you gain nothing from it. I watch you walk in groups through the store talking about some subject and all you do is agree with each other. In the end, the only thing you achieve is strengthening you own viewpoint while backing up your rigid belief that anyone who thinks differently is wrong.

            Anyway, where was I? I wazzzzzzzz….oh yeah, the fish.

            So the woman hangs up the phone as she reaches her car. She opens the door and is about to place the bag into her passenger seat when she screams. She drops the bag and groceries fly everywhere. The fish lands on the floor of the passenger side while I zoom into the air to avoid getting crushed in the upheaval.


            As I resume my perch atop the fish, I look around to see what is going on. A man dressed in black clothes is standing right outside the door in front of the woman. He has a knife in his hands. He orders her to shut up, give him the keys and get in the car. Terrified, she starts backing into the car, the knife held at her throat.

            Now, personally, I don’t care much for violence. I watched too many of my friends and colleagues get killed by fly swatters, people slamming their hands together, and other cruel techniques you people come up with for killing us. You try to justify your actions by saying that we carry lots of diseases. Seriously? Do you know how many diseases you guys carry? Flu, colds, bronchitis, and I can go on. You are like walking germ boxes. I see you kissing each other all the time. Do you know how many bacteria and germs you pass on?

            Anyway, where was I? I wazzzzzzzz….oh yeah, the fish.

            So I’m watching this man threaten the innocent woman who was nice enough to buy me this wonderful fish. I wasn’t going to stand for that type of violence if I could do anything about it. The frightened woman sits down in the driver’s seat, moving hurriedly toward the passenger seat, and is about to give the man her keys when I strike.

            I fly straight toward the most vulnerable place I can think of in any living creature: the eyes. I know all about eyes. I have lots of them and they are very vulnerable. Anyway, he is bending down, keeping the knife at the woman’s throat, when I plunge straight into his eye, which is kind of gross. Of course, as a fly, we probably share different views on what constitutes gross.


            My assault brings an immediate result. He gives a cry of surprise, shoots upright and his free hand flies straight up to his face. I quickly dodge his hand and make a beeline for the other eye. I peg him hard and he staggers backward waving his knife and free hand around his face trying to shoo me away.

            The woman acts immediately. She plunges her keys into the ignition and starts the car. She quickly puts the car in drive. The man tries to stop her but I renew my assault with full vigor, plunging into his eye again. He lets out a furious cry as the woman hits the gas and starts forward. She moves so quickly I barely have time to zoom back into the car before she is across the parking lot and slamming the door.

            She speeds down the street, breathing heavily and I celebrate my victory by flying back to the fish. She still seems pretty shaken when she pulls into her garage. She starts collecting her groceries with an expression of numb shock. Then she notices me sitting atop the fish. She doesn’t swat at me but I abandon my post anyway.


            Leaving the rest of the groceries, she picks up the fish and carries it into the house. I follow at a short distance. She walks over to the counter and pulls out a meat knife. Unwrapping a corner of the meat, she cuts off a small piece and places it on a plate by the window. Then, she walks off just leaving that piece sitting there. I readily accept the small offering and start wiping my hands for the meal.

            Later, after she reports the event to the police and is on the phone with her mother, I hear her make the statement that I saved her life. I don’t know about all that. Really, I wouldn’t have even been there if it wasn’t for the fish. So, I think you could say the fish saved the day.

            I don’t mind giving credit to a fish, especially not one that provides such an awesome meal. Besides, I think fish and flies have a lot in common. We both have short attention spans and everyone wants to eat us. On the other hand, I suppose they don’t feel the same way because I’m told that they eat flies. Never having been to a lake or pond, I really don’t know. Like I said, I grew up in the grocery store and it is nice to finally have a house to call my own.

            Anyway, um, where was I? I wazzzzzzzz….oh yeah, the fish.

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