Greetings,
This story, entitled "A Night Owl's Guide to Houston," was actually written back
in 2012 and is based upon an actual experience from that summer. It was such a
bizarre experience that I felt the need to write it down, since I wasn't sure
anyone else would believe the tale. I hope you enjoy the story and would
appreciate any feedback!
Sincerely,
James
Meadows
Night Owl's Guide to Houston
by James J Meadows III
“Night
Owl’s Guide to Houston: Our town is full of all-night venues for eating,
drinking and making merry that aren’t full of drunks. We’ll meet at 9pm and
choose where to go from a list of more than 100 destinations that are fun for
even sober people. By 10, we’ll be en route to great adventures! Guide: Ella Tyler.”
These
words in the Leisure Learning Center catalog gripped my interest. As a 30-year
old single male tired of spending my Friday nights surfing internet personals
ads, a work friend recommended I check out the leisure learning center. They told
me it was a great way to learn new things, meet other singles, and have fun in
a casual environment. A flip through the catalog revealed endless possibilities
including horseback riding, kayak trips, and even classes on how to have
winning first dates. Among them all, I found this ad and I was hooked.
This was
my chance to meet people in a setting free from drunks and alcohol. It was a
chance to learn about night spots and hangouts where I could interact with
singles or take future dates. I’ll admit, the rather expensive 45 dollar
registration fee and the requisite 40 dollars in spending cash were a touch
discouraging. I’m a single parent and rather strapped for cash, not to mention
sitters. Still, adventure awaited and I wasn’t about to let a little money stop
me. I signed up for the class.
On the
designated day, I headed to “Grey’s Café” in downtown Houston to meet the
group. Upon entering the 24-hour café there was one thing I noticed
immediately. There was not a soul in the place except for the staff and one
table in the corner with three customers. One of the customers called out to
me.
"Are
you looking for the Night Owl’s Guide to Houston?”
I
acknowledged I was and they waved me over to the table. I headed that direction
surveying my new companions. First of all, I wish to point out that I enjoy
foods and deserts. At the same time, I am not a person who spends lots of time
eating. I am very conscious about my weight and appearance. Likewise, I tend to
prefer hanging out with people who also care about their appearance.
This may be a touch superficial. Still, the truth is: birds of a feather flock together and people typically prefer hanging out with others who have similar values and priorities. You rarely see paparazzi
pictures of professional athletes hanging out with people who look like they’ve
spent the previous week eating donuts. If you have a work-out fanatic family
member or friend, you probably haven’t seen them walk through the door with a
date capable of swallowing them and not showing it.
On that note, I can say without a doubt that all three of
these people were in shape. By that I mean: round. The table was positioned against a wall and I could hardly
squeeze between them and the table behind to reach a vacant chair. There were
two women and one man. I was glad to see one of the women, a middle aged African
American, wasn’t eating. The other two had pancakes, bacon, hash browns, waffles, omelets, toast, and
milk sitting in front of them; and those were the plates they hadn’t already
finished.
The woman
who called me over, a large Caucasian woman, informed me between mouthfuls of
food that she was Ella Tyler, the guide for the class. She presented me with a
print-out of available activities and hangouts. My spirits dropped as I perused
the list. They were all 24-hour restaurants, including such unique hang-outs as
Whataburger and Denny’s.
I searched the table for a second page. I found one.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t much better. It consisted of almost all bars. Meanwhile, the few “late night hang-outs” appearing on the page included the Houston
Aquarium, which closes at 10pm, as well as the Winter Solstice Wine and Lights
Festival - which would have been an exciting possibility...if it wasn't currently July.
My mind
began searching for some excuse to get out of this mess when our last three
classmates entered the restaurant. The first was a middle aged woman with short
black hair; but, the second one caught my eye. She was a beautiful and fit
woman in her upper-twenties with long flowing brown hair and green eyes. I
started thinking this night might not be a waste after all. That was when a
fit, athletic male of about the same age walked in behind her. He took her hand
and they headed for the table. My enthusiasm dwindled. Still, it was good to
see someone of closer to my own age, and I hurriedly struck up a conversation
with them.
The couple
was from San Francisco and was visiting the girl’s mother here in Houston. The
middle-aged woman who entered with them turned out to be said mother. She was
looking for a way to show her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend the sights
of Houston. The best part was that they weren’t interested in eating. They
wanted to see popular hang outs and fun venues around the city. My hope became
rekindled as they expressed this preference to Ella.
The guides
readily agreed to this plan and proceed to pack everyone into a compact car for
the tour. The Californians and their mother wisely decided to follow in their
own vehicle and we headed for the first destination. As I sat in the car with
the other three, I listened to them discussing the numerous eating groups they
were members of. They encouraged me to join an eating group also. They said
meals usually only cost between fifty to a hundred dollars and told me it was a
great way to try all the unique restaurant venues in Houston. When I told them I wasn't really interested in an eating group, they became more insistent.
The previous discussion of my eating habits and finances as a single parent
probably already tipped you off to this fact. However, in case it didn’t, I
will admit that having a group of people who can barely fit in their own
car seats pressuring me to join eating clubs so I can go around town spending a hundred dollars on meals wasn’t my idea of a fun ride. Needless to say, I leapt
out of the car as soon as we reached our location.
Said ‘location’ turned out to be an empty bridge in the
middle of an empty park beside a suite of empty office buildings. Something
told me this was not one of the premier hangouts in Houston.
The
guides led us through the darkness to the edge of the bridge. There I was
greeted with a smell unlike any other in the world: Guano. I didn’t need their
explanation or the barrage of siren sounds to know that a swarm of bats lived
under the bridge.
Now, I
like seeing bats as much as the next person and enjoy watching them fly. Please
note, though, that the operative words in the previous sentence both dealt with
visibility. Now, please see the first sentence in the previous paragraph
referring to the darkness. You couldn’t see anything! We were at least informed
there were bats under there, even if we had no way to see them firsthand. We
were also told scientists liked to come here to study the behaviors of bats or
harvest the guano for agriculture purposes. Then, after loitering about for
several minutes, we were led back to the car.
Okay, stop
one, not so great. But Ella announced that the next stop would be more
exciting. This second stop was a new skate boarding park built by the city of
Houston. It was complete with concession stands, modern art and loud music.
They said it was a popular hangout for young people. Things were looking up
again. There was only one small fly in the otherwise wonderful ointment. We
arrived to discover the park closed at 8.
We spent
the next thirty minutes walking around the chain link fence so we could stare
into the well lit concrete obstacle course. While we did so, I visited with the
young couple from California. Since I lived in California during my military
enlistment, I found myself sharing stories of life up there and how different
it was from Texas.
Eventually, Ella announced our next destination: New China Town. She
talked about how the place was filled with stores, restaurants, and other locations
which are open all night. She said people are always milling about and enjoying
the night life. Again, the idea showed promise.
Hopping back into the car, we began a 40 minute drive out to the small
suburb of Sugar Land to see China Town. On the way, the host received a phone
call from some old high school friends. These friends wanted to join us for the
remainder of the event. The hosts obliged them and told them we were heading to China town, where they agreed to meet us. We
arrived in China town and parked in an empty parking lot full of closed
buildings. A small still-open coffee shop became our point of rendezvous with
the coming high school friends.
We
ordered tea and waited for their arrival. I was pleased to see for the first
time some signs of life and activity. Neon lights in Chinese and parking lots
full of cars stood in a single large shopping center across the way.
Unfortunately, we weren’t going there. We were sitting at a coffee shop waiting
for the host’s friends to arrive.
A half an
hour later, we were still sitting at a coffee shop waiting for the host’s
friends to arrive. Forty-five minutes later, we were still sitting at a coffee
shop waiting for the host’s friends to arrive. So far the only interesting
thing I’d done in China Town was share more conversation with the California
natives. When forty-five minutes turned into an hour, however, the California
natives were ready to go. Feigning being tired, they excused themselves and prepared
to leave. Possessing the good sense to act before my chance passed, I also excused myself, informed
Ella that I had a nice time, and convinced the Californians to take me back to
my vehicle. The ride was nice. We had a pleasant visit on the way back to the
café.
When they
pulled into parking lot, we shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. Then they
were off and so was I. The next morning, I pulled out my leisure learning
center catalog and noticed another event I had circled to go on. I hurriedly
scratched the event off my list and threw the page away. It read:
“Houston Secrets: See secret Gardens, international and local foods, and fascinating places to shop on this tour of little-known spots in Houston. We’ll
meet a 9am and leave by 10. Guide: Ella Tyler”.